


why would i want to say ducking?

by wrongtree



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Fluff, Tomlinshaw - Freeform, duck!louis, it's literally so fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-29 20:50:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrongtree/pseuds/wrongtree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>louis gets turned into a duck and nick (well technically puppy) finds him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	why would i want to say ducking?

**Author's Note:**

> it's entirely based off [this post](http://yetistyles.tumblr.com/post/52120729775/tomlinshaw-au-where-shenanigans-are-afoot-and-louis) because my brain wouldn't let it go.
> 
> as the tags say, it's QUITE LITERALLY so fluffy. 
> 
> sorry I don't know how to use comma's or apostrophe's.
> 
> never ending thanks to [Alicia](http://archiveofourown.org/users/just_in_cases/pseuds/just_in_cases) for listening to me go on and on about this, and for tagging me in a bunch of duck related posts.

"I'm so sorry, Louis. I don't know what happened." The girl standing in front of him looks much taller than she did a few minutes ago. She doesn't look as sorry as her words imply though. In fact, Louis' pretty sure she's trying to stifle a laugh. "I'm sure there's a way to reverse it, there’s probably, most likely, hopefully a cure. But I don’t know how to change you back right now.”

"Change me back?" Louis tries to say, but he stops because he hears very loud quacking in his ear.

The girl stops trying to hide the fact that she's laughing and her shoulders shake with it.

Louis fixes her with his angriest glare.

It just makes her laugh harder.

He turns to walk away but it only takes her a second to step in front of him and stop him. "Listen Louis, I'm sorry for laughing. You're just so cute. Look at how fuzzy you are! You're adorable!"

Louis knows he hasn't shaved in a few days but he's not fuzzy, and why would she comment on his facial hair now anyway? They've been hanging out all day, surely she didn't just notice. He huffs and stares up at her.

A breeze rolls through the air and Louis gets a chill that runs from his nose to his tail.

He tries to shake it off and—what? Tail? A tail? His brow furrows with confusion as he tries to turn and look at himself. He spins and spins in circles to no avail. The girl is now lying on the ground with her face in her hands, squealing.

He trips over his own feet and falls onto his chest, arms not fast enough to break his fall. He sits up and sees small orange webbed toes in front of him.

"What's happening?"

The quacking noise starts again and he realizes he's the one making it.

He turns slowly to where the girl is sitting, hands covering her mouth, nodding like she knows what he's about to ask. "I'm a DUCK?!" he starts yelling, "YOU TURNED ME INTO A _DUCK_?! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO _AS A DUCK_?!" He keeps stomping in front of her, waving his arms about, yelling profanities she can't hear because he's A DUCK. Her smirk never goes away.

"So I take it you're angry? But, you're a very cute angry duck, Lou."

He glares at her some more and hopes his duck face gives the impression of ‘OF COURSE I'M BLOODY ANGRY!’

"Now listen, I need to talk to some people but I'll sort this out. You just go and sit by the water and do some convincing duck-like things. I'll be right back."

"DON'T YOU DARE-" but she's already gone.

Louis does some more glaring at the spot that she disappeared, hoping that somehow his pure rage will bring her back, but it doesn’t seem to be working. He stomps (he does NOT fucking waddle, thank you very much) over to the edge of the water and peers down at his reflection.

He doesn’t see his angular face and thin lips, he sees a duck; A small, fluffy, yellow, duckling with a big tuft of fur at the top of its head where his fringe usually sits. The only remaining feature of his regular look is blue eyes. He’s a fucking duckling.

“LOOK AT THOSE DUCKIES!” he hears a shrill voice yell from behind him. There’s a small girl running as quick as her little legs will carry her towards the water, and straight for Louis. He panics and jumps into the pond before he remembers that he’s never swam as a duck before and has no idea how his webbed feet are supposed to work.

The little girl reaches the edge of the water and starts throwing pieces of bread at him. Louis tries to tell her to “knock it off” but all that comes out is a quack and it makes her throw the bread quicker.

Louis tries to swim out of her line of fire and realizes he's not sure how he’s supposed to stay afloat as a duck, if there are any tricks to it. He keeps teetering back and forth, face almost hitting the water, not quite sure what to do with this feet. He huffs a little and sticks a foot out to try and stop the momentum. He’s pleased for a moment as it works, but he soon discovers that having just one foot down makes him swim in circles. He starts swearing again, thankful that it comes across as squeaky noises because of the little girl that can hear him.

“Mummy, what’s that ducky doing?” she’s pointing at Louis.

“I’m not sure sweetie, maybe it’s just putting on a show for you.”

“Can we keep him?”

“No, doll, let’s go see if we can find its mummy.”

“Bye, ducky!!!” she waves at Louis.

He sees the pure joy in her face when he lifts a wing at her. Wings. Louis has wings.

The girl and her mum have moved down the bank to throw pieces of bread at more thankful, and real, ducks, so Louis clambers back onto land, swearing he’ll never swim again as long as he lives (as a duck. As a human he’s actually rather fond of the water).

He shakes the water droplets off of him and gets an itch under his wing. He tries to scratch it but realizes he can’t with his other hand because his other hand is covered in premature feathers and inconveniently attached quite closely to the other side of his body. Before the thought really crosses his mind he’s leaning down and picking at the itch with his mouth.

In fact, Louis is so busy preening his feathers, he doesn’t even notice a small dog come up behind him.

//

Nick watches in horror as Puppy ambushes a lonely little duckling, running toward the water and barreling right into its fluffy little body. She knocks it over and then spins as quick as she can to bark in its face.

“Puppy!” he scolds her, but of course she doesn’t pay him any attention and instead crouches in front of the duckling, wagging her tail.

From where Nick is standing a few feet away, it looks like the duck is telling Puppy off. It’s now covered in dirt and flapping its wings about, quacking loudly. The duck turns to face Puppy full on, and snaps aggressively at her. Immediately she pins her ears back and lays down with her face on her paws.

Isn’t that just fucking typical too, his dog listens to a _duck_ better than him. Nick strides over to Puppy and the duck and kneels down.

"What've you found, Puppy?"

She looks at him and then sniffs at the duck. It glares at her and goes back to trying to clean it's muddy feathers.

Nick doesn't know much about ducks but he reckons they usually come in families, he doesn't see any other feathery webby birds around though.

"Come on, Pup, let's leave it alone."

The duck looks up quickly and quacks angrily at him, Puppy just sits down next to it. The duck is glaring at him, and he wonders if that's normal duck behaviour; if they usually have enough of a distinctive brow to scrunch to make that expression. Then he looks to Puppy whose expression clearly says, "well we can't just leave it here." (He might not be able to speak duck, but Nick is well-versed in canine.)

"We're not taking the duck home, Puppy."

She's whines at him.

While they stare each other down, the duck waddles back to the waters edge, trying to get its feathers wet without jumping in.

"You pick 'em strange, Puppy." is all Nick says before he 1) realizes he's talking to his dog, out loud, in public, and 2) picks up the duck.

It squawks indignantly at him and nips his fingers, he almost drops the small creature but manages to catch it in his other hand before it hits the ground. It sits like a rock in his hand after that.

He brings the small duck up to his face and looks it in the eyes, wondering if he's ever seen a duck with such bright eyes before. "You're going to ruin my life, aren't you, little duck?"

It nips him right on the nose, figures.

//

Louis is carried away from the pond in the pocket of a very tall man's jacket. He doesn't necessarily want to be in a pocket but it was getting dark and he hadn't fancied a night in the park alone. He knows nothing about this guy except that he talks to his dog, is very tall, and has stupid, quiffy hair that he's constantly running his hands through. Louis supposes he's gone home with guys he’s known less about before though, so.

The walk doesn't feel too long but Louis does fall asleep with the rocking motion of walking so it's possible it took longer than he was awake for. He wakes up as the lad scoops his dog up under one arm and unlocks the door with another, hip checking it open. He sets Puppy down inside and is about to take Louis out of his pocket when there's a voice from his doorway,

"Nick! Glad I caught you, your post was delivered to my door again."

"Oh, sorry! They're always doing that."

Louis' still in Nick's pocket but he feels his arm move and assumes the woman the voice belongs to hands over the mail, then Louis hears the click of the door closing.

He feels Nick toe off his shoes and then quacks, reminding him of his presence. If he tried to say, "Hey, tosser!" he's the only one that has to know.

"Oh all right, all right, I've not forgotten you, relax."

He picks Louis up under his belly and levels him to his face again. Louis feels a little bit better knowing this guys name, but he still doesn't know how he's going to say his own. Maybe he can write it out in some dirt, though that wouldn't be a very convincing duck-like action.

"Well, little ducky friend, I don't know if you're a boy or a girl, so-"

Louis quacks loudly,

"Are you going to tell me your gender?"

Louis thinks that maybe this guy is smarter than he thought. Louis nods.

"Okay, bobble head, boy?"

Louis flaps his wings and quacks loudly, hoping Nick understands.

"All right, a boy ducky then. You're disgusting, did you know? Got me pockets all muddy."

Louis nips at his finger. Being a duck has its perks. He loves nipping at Nick's fingers, just to see him jump like he's afraid of it hurting. Louis' not even certain that he has teeth yet. Not even certain that ducks ever get teeth!

Nick carries Louis through his flat and into the bathroom, just a little too fast for Louis to notice anything other than some strange pieces of artwork and a bright neon sign. He also spent the journey trying not to fall out of Nick’s large hand, he doesn’t have very good stability as a duck.

Nick lowers Louis down onto the counter and turns on the tap of his deep bathroom sink. “Puppy’s shampoo is safe for her it should be safe for you, right?” He asks, looking at Louis for an answer. Louis just tilts his head in confusion. “Or maybe I should use that soap from the sad oily animals commercial. I bet Harry would know," he fishes his phone out, taps it a few times, and sets it down on the counter next to Louis.

"'Lo?"

"Hello, dear Harold,"

Louis tries to say hello too, out of habit of someone being on speakerphone. _Quack_.

"What was that, Nick?"

"That, is the reason I called you. I have a procured myself rather dirty duck and I don't know how to wash it."

Louis hears Harry laughing through the phone, he likes Harry's laugh.

"Have you got any gentle dish soap?" Louis also likes that Harry doesn’t even question it, just accepts that Nick is the type of person to pick up ducks on occasion, who might be in need of a washing, and is able to give him a brand name.

"Let me just check," Nick starts rummaging through his cupboards so Louis steps over to the sink. It’s less intimidating than the pond from earlier, and probably warmer, but he’s just not used to his flippers yet.

"You know," Harry says while Nick searches, "I have a great joke about a duck, I think it will really quack you up."

Louis turns from the water and shakes his head back and forth, no one notices.

"Why should you take a duck to dinner? Because he's always got the bill!"

Louis sighs, Nick's rooting through the cupboard and Harry is chuckling quietly at his own joke.

“AHA!” Nick hollers from below the sink, the sudden noise scares Louis and he jumps, tripping over his webbed toes and splashing into the still-filling sink.

“Shit, fucking hell, damn it.” He chirps and chirps and can hear both Nick and Harry laughing.

“You’re not very well co-ordinated for a duck are you?” He turns off the tap and sticks his hand in the water to support Louis, “then again, never really seen anything other than a bumbling duckling. Guess you fit right in.”

Nick announces that he's got the soap and after a few instructions from Harry, he hangs up.

Louis wriggles his body around in Nick’s hand until he’s facing him and glares. He tries to stick his tongue out too but can’t get it very far out, Nick just giggles at him. Louis tries to bite the tip of his finger again but Nick retracts his hand, causing a wave of water to wash over Louis.

“You dick." _Quack quack_.

“Well stop trying to bite me,” Nick flips the top of the soap open and squirts a little bit into his hand, “Don’t bite me. Please.” he adds as an after thought.

Louis is wet, and tired, and a duck, so he just lets Nick rub the soap through his feathers. Feather? Down? Fur? Louis doesn't know and he doesn't really care to find out. Instead of biting him again, he starts nudging his head into Nicks deft fingers and nearly falls asleep again.

“All right, sleepy duck, just have to rinse this soap off. But I’m going to grab a flannel for you, give the soap a chance to work all the dirt out."

Louis quacks as an “okay” and works on the floating business; he kicks his feet out one at a time, slowly, and is soon doing large circles in Nick's sink. “Yes yes yes!” he cheers, his laps becoming faster and faster.

Nick comes back in with a small flannel and smiles at Louis, “so you are a functioning duck after all.”

Louis stops his spinning and looks at Nick, lifting his wings as if to say “get me out of here.”  Nick quickly but gently rubs the soap off Louis and then lifts him out of the sink. As he is set down, Louis’ feet slap on the counter and he likes the sound it makes so much that he does it again, a wet smack smack smack of his webbed toes hitting the laminate. He makes a delighted squeak and does it again, this time running back and forth across the counter space, leaving small puddles in his wake.

Chuckling, Nick throws the flannel over him, effectively stopping Louis’ cross-counter-y rampage. Then he starts to scrub the towel over Louis. It feels nice, but also strange, he’s never had a towel fit over his entire body before, but his entire body has never been made of feathers before either, so. He can feel just a bit of a static build up on his body, and when Nick pulls the cloth away Louis’ entirely fluffy. He catches his reflection in the mirror attached to the counter and quacks, horrified; For staring back at him is a very fuzzy tennis ball with legs and a beak. The fluff on his forehead is an inch high and sticking up in all directions. His tail is much the same.

In the reflection Louis sees that Nick has stepped back and is leaning against the opposite wall, clutching his stomach with laughter. Louis curses him out and, just to be a dick, knocks over all of the bottles on Nick's counter. When he’s satisfied with his destruction, and Nick has stopped laughing, he huffs and sits down, feeling very sleepy indeed.

Nick puts his hand palm up on the counter and Louis steps into it. Nick carries him into the bedroom and sets him on the floor in front of a dog bed.

"Puppy!" Nick calls, his jack russell comes running into the room and jumps straight into the dog bed, turning on the spot a few times and then settling down with her head on her paws.

Nick kneels down to pat her head and says, "This little duck is going to share your bed okay? He's not a toy."

Louis would complain about having to sleep with the dog but he's actually already fond of it, she seems to understand him and he can tell she's mischievous like he tends to be. He hops onto the bed and curls up against her belly.

Nick smiles and takes a picture of them with his phone, "that is adorable."

Not long after Nick turns off the lights and crawls into bed does Puppy get up and jump onto the blankets at Nick’s feet. Her movement, and the lack of warmth, wakes Louis from his light sleep. He doesn’t realize what’s happened until he notices that he can’t hear Puppy’s heartbeat anymore.

He waddles to the edge of the bed, furious that he can't use his ruddy wings. What's the good of being a bird if he can't fly? "Wake up! Nick! Nick get up! I’m a bloody bird and I can’t fly!" He quacks and quacks until he hears Nick roll over.

Nick's face appears above Louis, "Blasted ball of fluff, what?"

"Pick me up!"

"Did Puppy leave you all alone? Well all right, come on up then." He reaches over the bed and Louis jumps into his hand. Nick lifts him up and puts him on the pillow beside his head.

Louis flaps around on the pillow trying to get comfortable and then decides on Nick's hair. He crawls into the quiff and messes it up as best he can by rolling around. He hears Nick sigh deeply, but he doesn't do anything else, so Louis just curls up and falls asleep.

/

When Louis wakes up the next morning Nick isn't in the bedroom or anywhere in Louis' line of sight. He jumps off the bed into a blanket slide and tumbles onto the floor. He waddles into the hall and sees Puppy chewing on a shoe. He's fairly certain she's not supposed to be doing that so he walks over and nips at her nose. She barks at him and jumps up, wagging her tail excitedly, then turns around and bounds away.

Following her into the kitchen Louis sees Nick standing at the counter chopping fruits, he chirps a hello.

“It’s too bloody early to be doing this. But I couldn’t sleep so here I am squaring fruits for a bird.”

Louis chirps again.

“You are a bird, duckling. A useless one too since you can’t even fly.” repeating complaints he hadn't heard Louis say last night. Nick sighs and puts down his knife to lean over and scoop Louis up off the floor. “I hope you actually like fruit, Harold said ducks like fruit and lettuce.” He picks up a piece of strawberry and places it in front of Louis. Louis considers turning away from it but his stomach rumbles and he realizes just how long it’s been since he last ate. He puts it into his mouth and swallows, already quacking for more.

"Greedy bugger." Nick says, but he lays the chopping board down in front of Louis so he can't be too mad. Nick fiddles with other things on the counter while Louis eats and the strong smell of coffee waifs over them. Nick's mood seems to perk up instantly.

When Louis' done eating and Nick's mug is in the sink he speaks up, "I've got to go to work, there's water in Puppy's dish, don't get into mischief."

Louis is about to argue that he doesn't cause mischief, it usually just presents itself to him, before he realizes it would be lost in a sea of quacking and also a lie. So he nods and watches Nick lock up his flat.

//  

Nick has no idea what to expect when he gets home after his morning on the radio. Puppy usually has at least one shoe destroyed on her own and now she has a demolition ducky pal that's somehow waddled its way into Nick's flat. He's afraid of the damage the two of them could have caused as a team; with Puppy's penchant for chewing things apart and the ducklings skill at knocking things over.

He unlocks his door and hears loud quacking coming from the hall. Then he notices the footprints. His wood floors are covered in pale blue flipper and paw prints. The paint colour looks suspiciously similar to the colour on the walls of his newly refinished guest room.

"PUP-" his yell is cut off by Puppy scampering into the room, tail between her legs, and the duck running after her. Puppy's paws are covered in blue paint but it's nothing compared to the duck, who isn't yellow anymore. The duck is flapping its wings and quacking loudly, Nick thinks it must be very upset. He seems to be an irritable fellow.

Puppy's quivering behind Nick's legs as the duck continues to quack and pace in front of him, telling her off. Nick waits patiently for it to finish and then Puppy takes off toward her doggy door. Nick sighs heavily and goes to inspect the rest of the damage. He doesn't turn around but he can hear the duck's feet slapping speedily on the floor behind him, trying to keep up with his long strides.

The prints lead him into the guest bedroom, as suspected, and the source of the trail is a knocked over can of paint.

Nick sets the can upright and then goes to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine. He stares at the bottle for a minute, thinking about how long it's going to take him to clean up the paint, and just grabs the whole thing. The sound of flapping duck flippers follows him through his flat.

He clicks on the TV in the guest room, a rerun of the most recent X Factor episode will have to do, and tries to scrape up as much of the still-wet paint as possible.

It's a slow process but he manages to clean up the wet paint without smearing it too badly, knowing it's going to be more difficult to get rid of the already dried paw prints littering the floor.

"I knew you'd ruin my life, Mr. Duck." He says to the matted blue bird sitting next to his bottle of wine. The duck rolls his eyes and Nick realizes it doesn't have a name yet.

"Mr. Duck would be a good name for you wouldn't it?" It fixes him with a stare that quite clearly says "hell fucking no."

"What about Dr. Dre? Ducktor Dre!" The duck sits down heavily, staring at the bottle of wine in anguish. Nick thinks perhaps sharing would be a bad idea, and turns to the TV where Louis Walsh is telling a teenage girl she's not ready for the competition yet. "No, you're right. Not even Harold would go for a name like that."

He stares at the TV contemplating names, as Sharon tries to get Louis Walsh to change his mind. Always one for yelling at the TV alone, Nick says, "Yeah! Come on, Louis! Give 'er a chance!" to the screen.

The duck goes absolutely bloody mental at this, jumping up and down and quacking like mad.

"Louis? You want me to name you after Louis Walsh? Are ya jokin'?"

The duckling runs to his feet and starts to peck at them.

"All right, okay! Enough!" He jumps back from the assault and nearly puts his foot in the bucket of paint. "White flag! I surrender!" The duck nips once more and Nick trips and falls onto his back. Staring at the ceiling he says, "Fine, I'll call you after Louis bloody Walsh. But I hope you know you're going to get made fun of on the ducky playgrounds."

The duck-nay, Louis-crawls onto Nick's head and chirps happily in his ear from somewhere in his hair.

(It's not until the paint's been cleaned off the floors, the dog, and the duck that Nick catches his reflection, noticing a streaky blue tinge in his quiff. He looks at Louis snoozing on his pillow and realizes he had still been coated in paint when he crawled into Nick's hair. That little shit.)

//

When Louis wakes up he's not in Nick's bed and not even in Nick's flat either. He seems to be curled up on top of some chords and looks around in confusion. Nick's in front of him speaking into a microphone.

"Gooood morning, I am Nick Grimshaw and that was... Who the hell cares?" Nick smiles at someone behind Louis and then says, "just joking! That was the lovely Rita Ora here on BBC Radio 1."

He pulls off his headphones and leans away from the mic, "oh look who's finally decided to wake up."

"Are you talking to your duck, Nick?"

"Yes, Finchy, I am. He slept through my three snoozy alarms, the call I got from the cab driver, the cab driver swearing and blaring his horn at four different people, the trip in my pocket into the studio in general, and also, somehow, your naggity nag voice of skepticism."

"Oh shut up and do your link would you?"

Nick starts speaking again so Louis gets up and wanders across the desk. There are a lot of wires and switches and knobs all over the place. Nick works in radio, Louis deduces. Maybe if this duck business never gets sorted out he can be on a kids show about detectives. Ducktectives, if you will. He'd really quack down on crime.

He's so busy thinking about whether or not he'd have a monocle that Louis doesn't notice the person across the desk from Nick get up and come round to him. He does notice however when a grubby little finger starts poking at him. "Why do you have a duck, Nick?"

"I think that's a story for the nation, Finchy. Tell you in a mo'."

'Finchy' is still jabbing at Louis so he bites him, he gets his bill up to the first knuckle and grinds them together. Nick starts cackling and 'Finchy' rips his finger from Louis' mouth, scoffing loudly before going back to his chair.

Nick is still laughing when he goes back on air, "Speaking of crazy, we've got a hilarious new addition to the BBC Studios today. It's fluffy, it's yellow, it's flappy, and it has just bit Matthew Fincham right on his fingers. We've got a duckling in the studio everybody!" He plays a ridiculous computer generated quacking noise so Louis tries to copy it, everyone but Matt laughs.

"I'll ask again, why do you have a duck, Nick?"

"Well I took Puppy out to the park the other day, and she wouldn't let me leave without him. I also felt bad because she knocked him right over like a dog tornado. Tornadog? Dognado? Anyway, he was a muddy duckling without a family so I took him home." Nick has picked up Louis at this point and is stroking his head. Louis' rather content in Nick's large hands.

"Yes but why is he here?" Asks Fincham, clearly annoyed.

"He is here because I came home to a blue paint spotted floor that definitely was not part of my decorating. I spent all night cleaning up blue paint, it was awful. Then he went mad about Louis Walsh, he's a very strange duck."

Nick chatters on and plays some records and Louis just hops about the desk. Every now and again he'll start flicking switches with his feet or beak just to see Fincham tense up and get redder. When he sits on a button that causes the sound to go up on Fincham's headphones the man loses it and lunges for Louis, who simply jumps into Nick's lap and then on the floor at his feet.

They chase each other around a bit while Nick cackles on about it, putting on an announcer voice and giving a play-by-play on air. Fincham finally gives up when Louis' taken shelter farther under the desk. He reaches around blindly until Louis has nipped all of his fingers.

"Take your ruddy bird home, Nick. Do not bring him back." Fincham is covered in dust and his hair is disheveled. Louis is very pleased with himself when Nick picks him up off the floor.

"Oh come on, Finchy. He's just having a bit of fun."

Louis quacks in protest, trying to get "no, he was being an annoying ass" across. He is apparently too cute for his own good because Nick just smiles at him and says, "See!"

Fincham scowls deeper and just mumbles, "do not bring him in again."

For the rest of the show Louis quacks during adverts, waddles along the switches, and shows off his wing-flapping skills to anyone who will watch; everyone is endeared by him and they take turns rubbing his fluffy back. Louis preens while Fincham glowers.

Louis manages to nip Fincham once more before Nick's friend arrives to take them home.

/

Louis has been a duck for a whole week before anything exciting happens. His days are mostly spent in Nick's pocket or sleeping or learning how to use his feet. Him and Puppy haven't made any more paint messes and he'll completely deny that he helped her get into Nick's shoe closet.

Against Fincham's wishes Nick does bring Louis back into the studio. Most of the time he's left on the couch or Nicks lap, but he likes to hop about on the floor during their "record of the week" segment.

One day after a studio visit, Nick comes home and opens his door just to say two words ("Puppy, walk.") and the dog goes mental. She starts barking and jumping and wagging her tail. Nick puts her leash on, effectively calming her down, and checks to make sure Louis is comfortable in his pocket, Louis chirps his contentedness, and they're off again.

Nick walks them to the park were, unbeknownst to him, Louis was transformed into a duck, and finds a shady spot under a tree. Minutes after Louis is taken out of his pocket carrying place and Nick lets Puppy off her leash, a lady with bright orange, actual orange, hair, a dog, and a picnic basket come up to them.

"Aim's!" Nick says excitedly, getting up to hug her and relieve her of her items. He spreads the blanket that was draped over the basket onto the ground, narrowly missing where Louis was laying in a patch of sun, and flops down on it, pulling the girl with him.

"Hello Grimmy." She has a clear American accent and a nice laugh. Louis briefly wonders if all of Nick's friends have nice laughs. The three of them watch as her dog and Puppy romp around on the ground, trying to catch each others tails.

Louis feels slightly ignored so he pads across the blanket and nips at her exposed toe.

"What the?" She exclaims, looking down for the thing that bit her. Louis quacks a couple of times and tries to grin at her.

She squints down at him and then looks to Nick, who is also grinning.

"This is my duck. Well I don't know if he's mine, but Puppy found him and he lives in my house and I feed him, so I guess he's mine."

"You've got a duck? How long have you had this duck and why am I just finding out now?"

"Just under two weeks, I've been busy duck-proofing my house and cleaning him. He gets into everything. Bloody menace."

Try both glance down at Louis, who tries to look as angelic as possible. He even wiggles his tail a little. 

"I know exactly one fact about male ducks," the girl says, popping a cherry tomato in her mouth.

"What's that, Aimee?"

"They've got corkscrew penises." non-chalant as ever as she chews.

Nick hollers, "THEY'VE WHAT?!" as Louis squawks and looks to where he assumes his crotch should be.

Aimee is lying on her side laughing, Nick looks completely scandalized, and Louis is still trying to figure out how a corkscrew penis would work. He's not sure he ever wants to find out, sounds scary, duck or not.

Someones belly rumbles and Aimee recovers from her laughing fit to start setting containers from the picnic basket onto the blanket. Her actions catch the attention of the dogs and they scurry over, tripping over each other along the way. Nick scoops Louis up and places him on his crossed legs.

There are salads, and sandwiches, and fruit, and Louis can't eat any of it the way it is. It's the first time he's really, really longed for his human body back. He wants to eat food other than fruit and lettuce and he wants to speak Actual Words. Brains do funny things when belly's are hungry and his mind wanders; He's surprised to be visualizing himself in the same place but with regular legs. He can see himself sitting with Nick and Aimee and their dogs, laughing and throwing fruit at each other, trying to catch it with their mouths. He wonders if Harry From The Phone With The Nice Laugh would be there with them, making jokes. Louis also wonders if he'd still be sat in Nick's lap.

He's grown reluctantly fond of the tall lad with dumb hair.

He doesn't realize he's whining a bit until Nick says, "oh hold on a second Flipper Feet," and notices that Nick's been busy squaring some fruit for him. His heart flutters, a bit like when normal ducks try to shake water off their wings.

Nick finishes and puts the tiny pieces of fruit in a bowl in front of Louis. Louis doesn't touch his food right away, instead just staring at Nick, overwhelmed by his unending thoughtfulness.

Nick is halfway through a sandwich before he realizes Louis' been staring, "what?" He asks, mouth full of food. "Is it not small enough?"

Louis hops onto his thigh and rubs his head into Nick's stomach, thanking him in quiet quacks. He seems to understand and rubs Louis' head, making his feathery fringe stick up, "you're welcome."

Nick and Aimee eat their sandwiches, Puppy and Thurston naw on each others feet, and Louis swallows his food and his feelings.

Their group is so busy laughing and eating and enjoying the weather that they don't notice a girl behind a tree, focusing intently on Louis and muttering some words under her breath.

Louis ruffles his feathers with a cool breeze but is preoccupied with chasing after Puppy and pays no attention to it.

//

Louis is missing. Nick knows he didn't leave him in the park, and he's not with Aimee, and Puppy keeps whimpering like she does when Nick's friends leave his company (shockingly similar are her reactions to Nick's).

Nick's basically tore up his whole flat, making sure Louis wasn't locked in a cupboard or stuck on a high surface. But he hasn't heard any unusual noises and Louis' never been a quiet bird.

When he double checks in his comforter and finds nothing, he flops himself onto his bed, groaning when Puppy jumps onto his chest and whines into his neck.

"Guess he just had to go home, Puppy."

She rests her head in the junction of his neck and shoulder and falls asleep.

It takes Nick longer fall asleep because he feels like something is missing. He keeps jerking awake like he's forgotten to turn off a stove or something.

It isn't until the next morning when he's routinely cutting fruit that he realizes he had been missing Louis' fluffy body curled up in his hair. He drops the knife and sinks to the kitchen floor.

/

It's been a week since The Missing Duck Incident and Nick's not been moping, no matter what Harry says.

"We're going out tonight, Nick."

"I've got wor-" Nick starts,

Harry cuts him off quickly, "It's a Friday, you don't have work, we're going out."

Nick doesn't like when Harry gets like this (correct), his determination is admirable and quite frankly annoying.

"Put on your big boy pants, call someone to watch Puppy, we're 'givin' 'er the big one tonight, eehhhhh'" he laughs, repeating Nick's old words back to him.

"I don't sound like that, Harold." Harry hangs up on him and Nick's front door is opening.

Nick is sitting on his couch in his pants, a bag of crisps on one side of him, a snoozing Puppy on the other, with his phone is still lit up on his naked thigh. He makes no motion to cover himself up as Harry storms into his flat.

"You're a pathetic excuse of a man, Grim."

"Least I can grow facial hair, Harold. Funny your name is 'Harry' when you can't grow any." Nick results to insults when he's in rubbish moods, he'll make up for it later, probably. Maybe send Harry a fruit basket.

"You're not a nice pal, get up."

After much poking and prodding and one of Harry's going-out mixes, Nick is dressed and styled and his mood has been lifted significantly.

Their night starts at a pub and person by person their group gets bigger; Harry's friends, Nick's friends, a few people Nick's never met before. Items and phones are flying everywhere, and they're all a few drinks in before someone shouts "CLUUUUUUUUUUB".

Nick barely has time to blink before he's in the middle of a dance floor surrounded by bodies. The smell of alcohol and sweat is strong in the air. By now their group is mostly dispersed; Harry's flitted off somewhere and Nick's thinking about getting another drink.

He's made it to the edge of the dancefloor when he notices a short, bird-boned boy with a very fluffy fringe staring at him. He quirks an eyebrow and continues on route to the bar.

Nick's drink is slid across the bar to him and a small hand slaps a bill down, "I've got this one covered."

It's the fluffy boy from a few seconds ago, "I've got my own wallet."

"Do you wanna dance?"

Nick takes a sip of his drink and gives the boy a once over. He clearly hasn't shaved in a few days, he's wearing a ripped band t-shirt, and his tight jeans are cuffed at his ankle. He's teeny tiny and Nick can't help but wonder why the boy would pick him and not some other guy (some shorter guy, some more interesting looking guy, some other guy that actually looks like he wants to engage in conversation).

He's still looking with determination at Nick, who chugs the rest of his beer and shrugs, "All right." He's very pretty, is the thing. Soft and sharp angles that contradict each other. Nick's always had trouble saying no to pretty things. He's a bit like a magpie of pretty boys; sees the shiny new object and wants to keep it in his nest. Or something.

Things don't get any more heated than the boy allowing Nick to pull him against his chest, the boy's arse is spectacular but Nick is content for them to just grind loosely and slowly on each other.

Eventually Harry finds them and smirks at Nick, doing a weird dance around their plastered together bodies and laughing from his belly. The boy pulls Harry to him and Nick can feel, rather than hear, his comment: "You have a nice laugh!"

Harry beams and winks at the two of them before sauntering away.

The boy sinks back into Nick's chest and Nick leans down over his shoulder, "Wanna go?"

He spins in Nick's arms and gives a curt nod, grabbing his hand and heading towards the exit.

/

Nick unlocks his door and extracts himself from the boy's hands on his waist.

Puppy runs up to the boy immediately, sniffing his leg and wagging her tail. He bends down to scratch her ears. Nick thinks he hears him whisper, "Hi, Puppy." but he's more shocked at her reaction to the stranger than the stranger knowing her name.

(He probably mentioned it at some point anyway, he never shuts up about her.)

"How, how did you do that? It takes her ages to warm up to people! She hates strangers! Hell, she hates me most of the time! What makes you so special, huh?"

The boy stands up and slowly walks to Nick, tucking himself into his chest. He lifts Nick's hand up to his mouth and nips on his fingers, then looks up at Nick with bright blue eyes. The boy blinks up at Nick expectantly, slowly waiting for him to catch onto whatever secret he's holding.

Nick furrows his brow and stares back, it had been too dark in the club to notice earlier, but he's only seen eyes that blue once before. But, but that's not possible. He must've drunk more than he thought he had because he's completely off his rocker if he thinks this boy is the same as the duck that waddled into his life a few weeks ago.

"I've gone mad."

"Have you figured it out then?" Asks the boy with a small smirk on his face.

"How?" Nick is flabbergasted.

The boy just laughs, "I've no idea, love."

"Louis?"

The boys smile splits his face, "You have stupid hair." is all he says before he runs his hands through Nick's carefully constructed party quiff, effectively ruining it completely.

Nick sighs, "said from the beginning you'd ruin my life, duck."

Louis stands on his toes and kisses the tip of Nick's nose (and then he's running down the hall as fast as he can go, and Nick's right behind him).

**Author's Note:**

> And maybe Nick's friends meet Louis properly, and maybe they're shocked with how well Puppy listens to Louis (and how similarly mischievous they are), and maybe Nick still calls Louis "duck", and maybe their friends catch the fond looks on each of their faces when it happens, and maybe the don't understand the whole story, but they know Nick's never been happier.


End file.
